Written on pages of anything I could find the thoughts and words flowed faster than a human mind could possibly process them. I sat in the corner of the boarded up back entrance to the Frieda mart, a popular hangout for shady dealings and interesting art kids of all sorts, even old drunken bastards that were well worth a ten minute listen. I was not far from the art school so it was both convenient and interesting in what it was we did here, probably more than everything. Sometimes quiet and cold the cement steps would surely do their best to suck the life force out of you, if you were to stay too long and that was usually the case before wandering elsewhere lured by the seductions of a big city. Cravings called to me everywhere I turned, and like a lonely dog I wanted to find a place to be so bad. Although it all seemed doable, and I was only trapped by own awareness. I had a deep sense of knowing the real jewels were somewhere else. I was known for having a wandering mind and a chameleon characteristic that to many people seemed outright magical. It wasn’t uncommon for people to say “I have met you before but you were much different”, or “your not the same person I met last time? are you?” Those who I was friends with got past the delusional differences and were often mesmerized by the depth of places our creativity would lead us. We are no longer in San Francisco, yet with all the time lapse games stacked above the endless paths, the places where we really were seemed much more significant. I remember standing on the bluff looking at the ocean when all I could hear was laughter, it’s magnificent isn’t it? it’s fabulous, its reality just much more of it. That’s it, that’s exactly right, please don’t let me slip back into the norm. I cant hold you there for much longer you need to come back soon. Her fingernails burned into my back, she was an animal, all animals at the same time and I was the one painting the scenery. I can’t paint this fast I am going to loose focus, I cant do the shadows and without them we will soon be lost. The main character took precedence over the others which morphed in and out of her constant transformation. the emotion of all perspectives at once was overwhelming yet it was much more life than the average breath of air. It lasted like a still photo held to your face crying in helplessness, wanting to feel the essence of life trapped within a distant image. We’re really not together, we’re so not together yet the forces of nature pulled as strong as they could, the taste of perfume, the depth of color in your eyes, the sweet sounds of your voice, the softness of your hair. Collectively they swirled and sang out to me, I could see myself running feeling so welcomed home, this was it, my return, like finding a treasure of life force I wanted to consume the essence of light sweet fire. Your eyes are the gateway, you know not what is behind them but the feeling of using them is making us both so alive, so hypnotized by your every order. A siren to men although my force is weakening I insist we must release, your smile is so mesmerizing and in a momentary lapse of reason, I allow you to seize control. The light dims quickly as shadows now return with your unconscious casting of spells. A look of pity, a flash of evil the darkness waits to clench with claws. I am still here, I am still living the true life, the star-seed gifted power. It’s the Divas painted on the glass, the water, the salt and the power of inner reflection. The trap is in the fight itself, the resistance of falling, of dying to be right, and the right to be dying. It can’t be this easy, a cat loves to play with it’s kill so playing dead is not worthy of all its attention. Drops of sugar fall like rain, I release, I put my hand on my face and close my eyes. I just couldn’t do it, so much, so much more in the climb ahead.